Zuckerberg Tribute

Sorry Chilean miners. You had my vote for Time magazine's Person of the Year. I planned to celebrate by turning out the lights in the basement and taking a nap--the closest tribute I could come up with that vaguely compared to being stuck in a mine shaft. Unfortunately, you didn't win. Mark Zuckerberg did. So I dropped my plans for a convenient, cozy nap in favor of updating my Facebook profile to the newer, more friendly format. Quickly figured out the Zuckerberg-led machine isn't as fun-loving as I hoped. While Facebook let me list my birth year as 1908, it wouldn't permit me to list the Sienna minivan as my hometown. I don't claim a hometown, but it seems that people who do, usually end up moving somewhere more exciting--and I pretty much feel that way about the minivan. Also, Facebook wouldn't let me list my alternate languages--Momspeak, Toneofvoice and MenacingGlares. But despite those drawbacks, I completed my Zuckerberg tribute. Imagine if the Tattler of State Secrets had won Time magazine's honor. I would have felt compelled to tell some family secrets like where the teeth are buried, where the teeth are that aren't buried, what really happened to the frying pan full of shrimp and why one birthday cake sported a ditch filled with frosting.