Angelina, I Heard You

I do small things to grab attention.

For example, at Girl Scout day camp I ripped off my t-shirt and threw it on the ground. Two factors in my defense--a wasp crept underneath my shirt and it was very hot.

Another example, also a Girl Scout one, I tried to squat and pee in a cup. Totally missed, drenching one jean leg and one boot with a fresh stream of urine. Again, two factors--I really had to go and the horse-riding facility only offered a stall, as its real stall wasn't working.

So I'm not one to judge. But, Angelina irradiated herself for FloNotes. I found out when Big Guy and I invited Brad and Angelina to come visit one evening. First, they said no. Then, they relented, explaining that Angelina was radioactive. So while they weren't willing to subject strangers to radiation, they would come to our house.

I said fine. After all, I wanted to see Angelina glow. Much to my disappointment, no visible glow. She had swallowed a tiny radioactive pill to kill a naughty thyroid (message to self, don't cross Angelina). The physicians cautioned her--you're hot, for about a week. That means that after 25 years of marriage, Brad had a hot woman, a really hot woman for one week, and he was sleeping in the guest room. 

Angelina warned us to keep our distance as we drank wine, played Password and drank wine. Then we played cards and drank  wine. We switched from wine to ice cream drumsticks--except for Brad who ate pistachios with their greenish hue, perhaps longing for untouchable Angelina. I clinched fourth place at cards, winkin,' blinkin' and nod figured into a Password victory while no one knew that an office casserole is a conglomeration.  

Mostly I forgot about Angelina's radioactive glow. I remember she said--"now this is FloNotes-worthy." And we discussed, or rather I brought up, the amount of radioactive waste Angelina was shedding into her neighborhood's sewer system.  Her neighborhood squabbles constantly. If it knew Angelina was glowing, someone would compel her to log each time she flushes and keep details on any clean-up. Her plea for FloNotes to return is the sort of news that grabs attention.