The best way to survive a blizzard is to prepare for one. Then there won't be one. My slice of Missouri missed much of the ice and most of the snow. I shoveled a lot of sleet, which gave me time to think about blizzard survival tips. Keep the drive shoveled--that will get Big Guy back to work as soon as possible. Let sleeping teenagers sleep. If Birdie snoozes until 11 a.m., that's less time for her to be visibly not shoveling the drive. Send teenagers outside. Once Birdie awakens, she can finish the driveway. Take advantage of Steak 'n Shake's half-price midafternoon milkshake offer. By 2 p.m. the crazies are at Wal-Mart, the teens have disappeared and the old people have safely driven at excruciatingly slow speeds into ditches or into the cocky SUVs that arrived in the ditches first at much higher rates of speed. The seniors and the newly humbled will wait together for Triple A. It might be a while. The Steak 'n Shake drive-thru had something of a back-up and the AAA tow truck was in line just ahead of me, also getting a milkshake. Steer clear of private snowplow rigs. I found their drivers at the Seven Eleven, tanking up on extra-large monster energy drinks. After 36 hours straight of making money hand-over-fist, I doubt an energy drink provides enough of a wallop to avoid mailboxes, garbage cans, slow-moving jaywalkers or street signs. Start to casually encourage your neighbor to get a snow blower. That way, he can clear your driveway and everyone else's. Of course, once the drive is clear, it's more difficult to shake free of the family. But I could run out to Wal-Mart.
No comments:
Post a Comment