Where's Lassie?

Negative political campaigns work better with Republican voters. At least that's my theory. There is a reason why Democrats are called "bleeding heart liberals" while Republicans aren't. Robin and Roy both threw aside civility and good taste to point fingers at each other in their quest to become Missouri's newest U.S. Senator. Roy won, by a painfully wide margin. The margin would have been narrowed an itsy bitsy bit if Robin had earned my vote. Instead, my vote for her went to a Libertarian whose name I don't remember. I figured he didn't raise enough money to have slung much mud, making my vote a "thank you" for good manners. Avoiding the Robin and Roy spat gave me time to think about what new brand of political candidate might give Sarah Palin's Mama Grizzlies a run for the vote. My idea: The Lassie Mamas. Freshly brushed and always smiling, Lassie Mamas carefully discern between real danger and made up nonsense. Neither they, nor their offspring, ever appear in raunchy videos. Lassie mamas fight for the underdog, as well as imperiled kittens and bunny rabbits. They defend the homestead from wolves and grizzly bears. They herd sheep, and can herd Congress, in the right direction. Lassie Mamas don't expect special treatment and they make sure that everyone on the farm has the right to go to the vet. And if a Lassie Mama wants to be a boy, that's OK. And if a boy wants to be a Lassie Mama, that's fine too. Both can protect the farm. Lassie Mamas listen well and bark even better. They can bite but prefer to make their point in more civilized ways. Best of all, Lassie Mamas don't discriminate. They'll save whoever needs saving from the well--be it Timmy, Robin, Roy, Barack or Chief Mama Grizzly. For Lassie Mamas, doing what needs to be done is all in a day's work.