Donut Test

My weakness is donuts. So I found the new Scotch tape dispenser especially intriguing. Could tape "in fun donut dispenser" be as fun as a donut? What an excuse for investigative reporting. I purchased the tape donut in fun cherry red, then wheeled up to a place I hadn't been before--Ellisville's Donut Palace. The sign on the door said, "When the line gets this long, please keep the door closed." That's my kind of donut shop. I wanted to be fair to the tape donut, so for my "is it as fun as a donut" test, I ordered, to-go, a sprinkle-laden, chocolate iced donut most likely intended for six-year-old Captain Crunch munchers. For immediate consumption, I ordered an exquisitely glazed classic. The counter girl and I exchanged cash and commentary about the lines and which donuts she loved best. She sent me on my way with my bagged sprinkle test donut and a complimentary, fresh from the kitchen, glazed donut hole--her personal favorite. I could already see the test sliding in favor of the sprinkle, not the tape. So I let the sprinkle, and the "fun donut shape" tape dispenser ride around in the minivan for about five hours. Then I went home and explained the donut test to Birdie. In a moment of spirited uncooperation, she grabbed the tape dispenser, called it cute, and refused to try the sprinkle donut. And we share the same gene pool? So Birdie played with tape; I ate the donut--which tasted pretty good in spite of its age and sprinkle overload. Soon afterward, we went to dinner. A starving Birdie dove into bread plastered with butter. I watched, smug in my satisfying sugar laden high. Having discovered the Donut Palace, I wouldn't trade my day or my donuts for all the boring bread, or tape, in the world.