• "I can't believe you wrote that."

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Things I Haven't Written About

Big Guy's Snores. The noisemaker returns from Argentina tomorrow. Thank goodness, he is cute even in the dark.
The Visit With My Nephew Footloose. I thought the college student might live knee-deep in beer cans and unwashed laundry. That's what I remember from college. But no. Footloose and his housemates keep such a tidy dwelling. They even clean the kitchen together, at 10 pm. And there's no beer cans. The beer comes in recycled gallon jugs. Sweet.
Baby Names And Who Pays For Them. As I bagged my groceries, I noticed two young moms admiring each other's babies and discussing which government programs were paying for each kid. They had four children between them. Mom #1 has "J" names for her babies. Mom #2 is dabbling in "D" names. With another one on the way, she is trying to figure what will go with Dillon and Destiny. Cute.
Free Amish Heaters. Check the full-page ad in USA Today, then call the 800 number. The Amish will give you a free heater, if you pay $400 for an attractive wooden frame. The fun you will have toying with the eager telemarketer almost makes the deal worthwhile.
Charlie Sheen. Earth to Mother Ship: Come get him.
Chocolate Ice Cream Donuts. They exist; they're in the freezer.
Personalized License Plates. CAT NIP, CAT NAP, TKT 2RD Would any of them make driving a minivan more cool?
Fish Cars. I keep watching to see if drivers who sport The Fish ever behave badly. They have given me nothing to write. Does that mean The Fish works?

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